Ever just have so much on your mind…it’s like you have so much you want to say but you can’t get it to convert from brain speak to the keys…it’s frustrating. isn’t it?
sometimes at night i just sit back and think about all the places I’ve been. Things I’ve seen, thing’s I’ve done. Happy memories and things i’d rather forget. threw all of this i wonder how the hell i am where i am today. I know some people think i’m crass, i’m not deaf to what people have said about me.
But then i think if i’m so bad, then how have i managed to raise such a sweet, loving girl, and how did i end up lucky enough to have an amazing man want to marry me??
I’m not exactly sure where i’m going with this. This is my first blog so bear with me here. I’ve got more i want to say.
You know i used to care what people thought of me. I’ll tell y’all something it’s exhausting trying to mold myself to what others want to you to be. In my previous marriage i tried so hard to be the perfect little made up wife. I hated myself. i was miserable.
it’s taken me years to get to where i am today. Where i feel confident to go out in public with a messy bun and yoga pants. where i can go out into the public without makeup and still feel beautiful. I’m proud of myself for that.
This is the first time in years where i am actually happy. Where i am confident in myself to be able to achieve goals. So i guess my message here is. Don’t listen to the negativity of others. once you start to cut out the toxic people from your life, you’re confidence will come back. That’s what i did.
It was amazing. once i started to distance myself from people who didn’t have the same goals as me, my life became brighter. instead of listening to their negativity i got to listen to people who were just as excited as me about stuff. I didn’t have to hide my thoughts and fears and insecurities.
i’m not exactly where i want to be, but i’m pretty damn close.
americangirldiary 